Things That Men Mistakenly Think Are Cool

Indeed, there are some things that the vast majority of men consider to be the markers of masculinity. Unfortunately, very often these things work the other way round and make them look pathetic or even ultimately ugly. Here’s my list of mistakes men make in order to be cool.

1.Mustache

As for me, I don’t know a guy who looks better with mustache. Every time another male friend of mine decides to let his upper lip hair grow, I feel the urge to put a baseball cap with the sign ‘Johnson’s Trucks” on his head, and send him drive across the country with the 16 tons of cargo in his truck. Seriously, mustache makes even the most handsome guy look like a redneck or my 52 year old uncle Mike, which are actually pretty much the same things.

2. Shitty Pants

I want to meet the designer who sewed the first shitty pants and spit him in the face. Seriously, maybe I’m completely out of date and don’t understand the latest fashion trends, but what is so sexy about the outfit that makes you look so gay? Or like you can’t control your defecation processes…

3. Neglecting Cosmetic Procedures

Apparently, men think that a real brutal guy should be dirty, hairy and stinky. Many of them neglect hair styling, manicure, perfume and skin care. Of course, some guys manage to look good without taking any effort, but the vast majority of them really need help.

4. Hairy Body

Alongside with mustache, many men believe that the furrier they are the better. They neglect shaving, and if I can deal with facial hair, pubic, chest and armpits hairs really make me sick. Seriously, guys, shaving takes 5 minutes! Bushes on your unmentionables look sexy and brutal only for you.

5. Celtic Tattoos

I see lots of guys with these stupid tattoos on their arms. To me, they look like the last century. Don’t get me wrong, I love tattoos, but c’mon, Celtic patterns?! Gross…

6. Womanizing

Many guys think that their coolness equals the number of girls they slept with. These guys think that calling back is for pussies, one night stands is cool and serious commitment sucks. Some of them keep acting like assholes even if they are really into a girl. Psychologists say that such behavior is a sign of immaturity, so by trying to show your masculinity this way these guy actually show their childishness.

7. Farting And Burping

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